In the last few minutes of the 2007 film "Into the Wild" Chris McCandless, starving and alone in the Alaskan wilderness, pulls out his paperback book of plant lore and writes within the margins: "happiness is only real when shared."
Desiring freedom, self-sufficiency, and a simple life far from the evils of materialism, Chris decided to donate his life savings of $24,000 to charity, give away everything he owned aside from a hunting rifle, ten pounds of rice and the clothes on his back and hike from South Dakota to Alaska.
Chris had achieved the life he set out for, but soon realized it was incomplete if he didn't have anyone to share it with.
Four months after he arrived in Alaska, Chris died of starvation.
"Into the Wild" is based on a true story. On September 6, 1992, 19 days after Chris died, his body was found by two moose hunters in his home he constructed from an abandoned city bus.
Four years later his story was told by journalist Jon Krakauer in his book "Into the Wild."
I find the life of Chris McCandless striking, because on a certain level I deeply respect what he did and what he valued. Chris desired to live--truly live. He had spent the two years prior to his journey to Alaska without a phone and was known for having few possessions. On another level I sympathize with Chris' prideful attitude that was above needing human connection or depending on community.
The Lord has done a radical work on this area of my life over the last decade.
Before I understood the importance of living in community, I was content to maintain my own sense of piety without the inconveniences of messy people. Then, in my late teenage years, I entered into a depression I didn't understand or know how to deal with, but was determined to fix on my own as I had done everything else. What could have been resolved more quickly lasted for years because of my own pride.
There were many things that contributed to bringing me out of that brain fog, but do you know what contributed to it the most? When I started living in community.
I began to allow people into my life, I began to be vulnerable and stop putting on a show that I was perfect, I began to walk with others through their own pains and joys and I began to serve others for the sake of loving them and putting their needs before my own. I no longer had the time to sit around all day evaluating how I was feeling, and with time, I realized I wasn't nearly as depressed as I was before.
I am not saying this is a one size fits all solution for everyone, but I also don't think it would hurt to try.
Why? Because we were created to live in community. We were created to live in relationships. It is a fundamental human need.
It is also one of the hardest things you will ever do.
Any community, no matter how flawless it seems on the surface, will disappoint you. You will find things to disagree about even if everyone in your community voted for the same person in the last election. You will be on the receiving end of careless comments. You won't receive compassion every time you think you deserve it. You will find people who annoy you for no rational reason other than that they seem to breathe irritatingly. You might even be profoundly hurt in a way that takes a long time to forgive.
And if it seems ironic to you that the thing that leads to our greatest joy is the thing most difficult to do, I would assume you have not been a Christian for very long.
Let's look at 1 Corinthians 12, where Paul begins verse 12 writing about unity in the Christian community.
"For just as the body is one and has many parts, and all of the parts of that body, though many, are one body--so also is Christ. For we were all baptized by one Spirit into one body--whether Jews or Greeks, whether slaves or free--and we were all given one spirit to drink. Indeed the body is not one part but many. If the foot should say, 'Because I'm not a hand I don't belong to the body,' it is not for that reason any less part of the body. And if the ear should say, 'Because I'm not an eye I don't belong to the body,' it is not for that reason any less part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? But as it is, God has arranged each one of the parts in the body just as he wanted. And if they were all the same part, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, but one body" (1 Corinthians 12:12-20 CSB).
How beautiful.
To live in a functioning and loving community we don't have to have the same kind of personalities, the same political ideas, the same interests, the same ages, we don't have the have the same cultural or racial background, we don't all need to be married, we don't all need to have kids, and we don't even need to agree on every single debatable lowercase t theological concept. If we all have the Spirit of Christ, we can have unity.
Who wouldn't want to be part of a community like that?
But just a verse later Paul begins talking about the divisions that inevitably come.
"The eye cannot say to the hand, 'I don't need you!' Or again, the head can't say to the feet, 'I don't need you!'" (1 Corinthians 12:21 CSB).
How all too disappointingly familiar.
The Bible is full of verses encouraging Christians to continue to strive after unity, and reprimanding them for all the times they seek to destroy unity with their selfishness and pride.
"Pursue peace with everyone, and holiness--without it no one will see the Lord. Make sure that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no root of bitterness springs up, causing trouble and defiling many" (Hebrews 12:14-15 CSB).
"Therefore, as God's chosen ones, holy and dearly loved, put on compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, bearing with one another and forgiving one another if anyone has a grievance against another. Just as the Lord has forgiven you, so are you also to forgive. Above all, put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity" (Colossians 3:12-14 CSB).
I don't know about you, but the fact that Christians have to be reminded to love each other constantly feels defeating. It means they aren't living this way normally and that the community I dream of and long for is a far off dream that rarely happens on this side of heaven.
Kind of makes me want to pack up and live alone in the Alaskan wilderness.
And, in one way or another, that is a conclusion a lot of people come to. They enter into Christian community expecting love, peace, and unity, and quickly become disillusioned and leave the church community altogether.
I get it.
But in the same ironic moment that we become critical of the people in our community, we are far too often guilty of the same thing. We gossip with our closest friend about how so-and-so is such a gossip. We cast judgemental, condemning glances at those we deem judgemental and condemning. And the further we isolate ourselves from our community, the more we just self-affirm our own perspective, the further we plummet into pride, and the blinder we become to our own sin.
You want to know the quickest way to become aware of how sinful you are? Live in community with sinners, they pull that stuff right outta ya.
The other day I held a baby while a new mother took a nap in peace, something she had not been able to do for months. I felt happy and giddy and totally alive that I was able to give her such a simple gift. I thought about how I could have been spending my morning alone in my apartment doing anything I wanted without any noise and nobody to inconvenience me--I could have been spending my morning in total freedom.
Instead, for the sake of living in community, for the sake of bearing a burden, for the sake of showing love and counting someone else more important than myself, I spent my morning with a baby and a very tired mother. And you know what? It was the best morning I have had in a long while.
You are loved and you are not alone,
S
