Clichés are one of the seven deadly sins of a writer.
Clichés are phrases that have been so overused throughout the years that have lost all meaning and impact, and if your writing is full of phrases like "there is always a silver lining" and "everything happens for a reason" and "you have to learn to dance in the rain" your writing will sound empty and scripted.
One of the most profound lessons I learned in my poetry writing workshops was how to say what I wanted without using clichés, and how to create new emotions and images in a reader's head, instead of running to an overused image or idea that may or may not really get across what I want to communicate.
Clichés are also one of the seven deadly sins of Christian counseling.
You go in with good intentions of helping someone through grief or discouragement or a challenging season and you end up only sounding like a dollar store greeting card.
I've heard many people in the midst of something difficult say things like: "If one more person tells me that God is in control I'm going to lose it" or "I don't want to hear that he's in a better place right now" or "It's for the best? Really? Does it look like this is for the best?"
Those Christian catchphrases, while easy to whip out, are not always helpful to someone going through pain.
The irony of it all is that those phrases are completely and 100% true. God is in control. If that person was a believer, they are in a better place. Everything is for God's glory and his plan (which is the best).
A couple weeks ago, I sat on my couch hurt, confused and angry. Just moments before a situation exploded like a bombshell.
I was being blamed for things I knew nothing about. Conversations I weren't involved in or given a chance to clarify were brought up. My character, my integrity and my honesty were being called into question. I looked like a liar, a deceiver, and a manipulator. Four eyes were staring at me waiting for an explanation and I had no words.
No breath, even.
I had a clean conscience. I had no lied to, deceived or manipulated anyone. I had made decisions with time and care, with confirmation from the Lord, with prayer and wisdom, with respect for those in my authority.
But conclusions and judgements about me had already been formed, and I could see the skepticism in the furrowed brows of those in front of me while I fumbled over my words, trying to make sense of what was happening.
I was reduced down to nothing more than a child in trouble.
But it was in the midst of the pain buzzing loudly in my ears like a swarm of angry bees that a cliché, of all things, came to mind.
"God is sovereign"
And that overused, cheesy and unassuming cliché brought peace.
And I realized that clichés are only clichés until God allows us to feel the depth of their truth for the first time. And then all of a sudden, they are not cliché at all. They are profound. They are a lifeline when you feel like you are drowning. They are what get you through one day to the next.
I have known and believed in God's sovereignty my entire Christian life. I have known God is in control of the entire universe and has the power to change the hearts of men, alter the course of history forever, and answer every single prayer I offer up.
But for some reason those overused phrases of "God is in control", "God is sovereign" and "He's using this for good" touched my heart in a brand new way.
I want to make a quick but very important side note that the details of the situation and the people involved in the situation are not important. I want to make it clear that the desire of my heart is not to cause any hurt by sharing this situation, but only to communicate the power of the Holy Spirit who gave me peace despite a difficult circumstance, and the details I share are only intended to show the depth of that work.
I know many of you have probably been on both sides of a situation like this and can understand how complex an issue like this can be, and how much it can hurt to be the one having to accuse and the one receiving accusations. Many times, there isn't a good guy or a bad guy or a right side or a wrong side, there are just normal people and their feelings. We are all sinful, and we all have faults, and we are all limited by our perspective and personal biases.
I am not in the business of heart, intention or motive reading. I can't read a person's heart or thoughts or hidden agendas. I don't know the intentions of anyone. I have forgiven everyone involved and am daily working on having a heart posture of joy and thankfulness in spite of what happened. And so please understand there are no villains here and no victims. God is simply using a situation outside of my control to make me more like him.
This past week I have been listening to Sovereign Over Us by The Worship Initiative. Some of the lyrics are as follows:
"your plans are still to prosper/ you have not forgotten us/ you're with us in the fire and the flood/ you're faithful forever/ perfect in love/ you are sovereign over us/ even what the enemy means for evil/ you turn it for our good/ you turn it for our good and your glory/ even in the valley you are faithful/ you're working for our good/ you're working for our good and your glory"
Those truths come from the book of Genesis in the story of Joseph. When Joseph meets his brothers again for the first time since they sold him into slavery many years ago Joseph responds--not in anger toward them for hurting him, treating him unjustly, and attempting to ruin his life--but with grace and love.
"But Joseph said to them, 'do not fear, for am I in the place of God? As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today'" (Genesis 50:19-20).
We see this same truth in the story of Jesus' crucifixion, where Judas' sin and attempts to kill Jesus and destroy his ministry instead brought about salvation for all of mankind and sent the disciples out declaring the gospel to the ends of the earth.
We see this truth in the persecution of the Christians after Jesus' death. The attempts to stomp out the Christian faith by killing anyone who professed to believe only caused the faith to spread like a wildfire, taking the faith wherever the Christians dispersed.
This doesn't justify the sin of Joseph's brothers, of Judas or of those who persecuted Christians following Jesus' death. This doesn't mean that God was pleased with the sin or didn't think it was so bad since it helped accomplish his plans. God despises sin and that doesn't stop being true at any point in history.
God doesn't have an "the end justifies the means" mentality.
During the last supper, Jesus revealed that one of the twelve disciples would betray him. "For the Son of Man goes as it is written of him, but woe to that man by whom the Son of Man is betrayed! It would have been better for that man if he had not been born" (Mark 14:21).
Judas was still condemned for his sin even though it took Jesus to the cross and accomplished salvation for all of creation.
A second cliché came to mind almost instantly after the first:
"The Lord is my defender"
And it was only by the power of the Holy Spirit that he allowed me to listen without getting angry, without interrupting, without feeling the need to "prove myself."
It was only by the power of the Holy Spirit that I was able to sit and humble myself under narrative about who I was, what my intentions were, and what the motivations of my heart were.
It was only by the power of the Holy Spirit that I allowed myself to be painted into something that I wasn't.
Why?
Because I know the things said about me were not true. I know how I was painted is not accurate and I believe God will reveal this in time.
I don't need to scream or cry or make reckless angry decisions because this won't accomplish anything. I don't need to frantically try to clarify, scrub my name, or change the narrative in others' heads about me because frankly that's not my job.
I will not defend myself over things that aren't true, because things that aren't true never stand the test of time and the only thing I need to do is exactly what I have been doing--serving God, loving others, and being faithful with what I have been entrusted.
Is this easy by any stretch of the imagination? Is it easy to walk around knowing people are whispering about you? Believing things that aren't true to your character?
Of course not.
It hurts when others say and believe untrue things about you. It hurts knowing your reputation could be unfairly hurt over these things. It hurts to feel like trust has been broken.
I watched a really cheesy Christian movie a few weekends ago. You know exactly the type I am talking about, but there was a line in that movie that has continued to stick with me.
One man was talking to another man about what he needed to do in order to live his life right. The other man retorted: "It's not that simple!" And what did the first man say in response?
"It is that simple. It's just difficult."
The simple truth is that we forgive--in action and in heart. We forgive and refuse to dwell on the hurt so that we are not tempted to store up bitterness in our hearts.
Hebrews 12:14 says: "Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God, that no 'root of bitterness' springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled."
Refusing to forgive by dwelling and storing up bitterness is sin. And no matter how justified or understandable our hurt is, we cannot allow it to justify us sinning in response.
The simple truth is that standing righteously in front of a Holy God is sufficient.
We answer to God at the end of the day, at the end of our life. Not to anyone else. Not our friends. Not the people in our church. Not those in our authority. Not our family. God and God alone.
God is the judge of your heart. Others can misunderstand and misjudge your heart, but that doesn't change what God sees. We strive for holiness and obedience not so that others see that, recognize that and praise us for that, but so that we can stand holy and blameless before a righteous God.
God is not wasting your pain, he is sovereign over it and he is working it all out for your good and his glory. A little cliché? Maybe, but all the best truths are.
You are loved and you are not alone,
S
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